Knowing how anxiety can help you support your loved ones better without inadvertently increasing their anxiety.
When I first moved to my partner’s house (now) in 2001 she didn’t want to put my name on the salute to our answering machine due to the huge age gap and our gay relationship and she was worried about how it could be justified about how her family would answer my move So I hid it from them for several months; although I felt a great deal of sympathy for her and her condition, I was frustrated because her anxiety was affecting me – and I didn’t like to act as if we had something to be ashamed of.
Scenarios like these are common when someone in your life suffers from anxiety anxiety; your boyfriend may feel so afraid that he avoids taking any action or behaves in an imbalanced way or in a way that can increase your anxiety.
This may sound like a friend who is constantly delaying carrying out tasks or having important discussions or like a friend who complains of loneliness but refuses to date or may be a manager who always focuses on what might go wrong during work causing misery to everyone around him.
It is difficult to monitor anxiety in someone you know and it is more difficult when it causes your anxiety and stimulates your anxiety.
What can you do to help people with anxiety?
You must first understand that anxiety is a distinguishing feature of humans and not a defect; most of us feel anxious from time to time because it is a generally beneficial emotion that helps us see potential threats and makes us care about social rejection and keeps us In a state of alert so as not to be deceived, and although the feeling of anxiety may seem like a wrong thing, it is actually useful for some people in the community to be more careful and those who think a lot about the wrong things that can happen.
However, people may have to deal with patterns of coping with anxiety that cause it to increase like a rolling ball of snow sometimes. They think too much (think about the past or worry about the future), avoid all their worries and use compensatory strategies – like being too perfect to avoid feeling they are pretending to be at work – which temporarily reduces their anxiety but increases it in the long run Run. These coping strategies can cause people to turn away from you – especially the people who love you.
While it’s frustrating and annoying to see these people suffer, there are things you can do to help. Some of the strategies Alice Boyes recommends that are based on The Anxiety Toolkit:
1- Understanding the differences in how anxiety arises
Because of evolution we wanted to respond to fear either by fighting, escaping, or being nailed to the place; for different people, one of these responses will usually prevail over their actions, for example, my wife tends to tan in her place and will bury her head in the sand instead of dealing with the things that make her feels tense and panic. As for me, I tend more towards fighting and I will become very angry, very perfect, or strict if I feel tense.
When you understand that anxiety is designed to put us in a state of sensitivity to threats, it will be easier to understand a person’s feeling of fear (or stress) and how to behave in a way that is irritable or defensive and you will find yourself sympathetic.
By paying attention to how the anxiety appears and develops in the person you care about, you will be able to know his anxiety patterns and be better positioned to help him.
2- Connect your support to them according to their preferences, style, and affection.
It’s best to ask anyone what kind of support they prefer rather than guess and try to anticipate them; nevertheless we know through research that people with a correlation method tend to avoid (usually those who have faced denial of care or relationships in the past) from Likely they would respond better to strong offers of concrete practical support; this could include helping the anxious person divide tasks into steps they can control or speak through specific options about how to deal with a difficult situation such as how to respond to an angry email while making him feel That he still enjoys his independence and his efficiency Subjective while doing this.
Most likely other people will prefer emotional support, especially those who love safe communication or who have a “busy mind” communication method because of their fear that they will be abandoned or that their emotions will be stressful for others; the individuals we mentioned here respond well to phrases that confirm They are part of a solid interconnected team – for example their supporter says: “This is difficult but we love each other and we will face it together.”
Of course these are generalities and you need to adjust your support method by noticing what is appropriate according to the specificity of the situation, but when you have a close relationship with someone you can provide support based on a good understanding of the anxiety patterns of a member of your family.
3- Look for ways to take advantage of any particular view they have of their anxiety.
If the person you love has a vision or having a specific view of his anxiety, you can help him determine the time when the patterns caused by anxiety occur; I find it helpful when you notice my partner I express my concern about working by being angry with her or being confused because we know each other’s patterns well and have a relationship of trust that we can point to each other’s habits, not to say that this always makes the anxious person grateful but the message will arrive in any case .
If you are going to do this it is a good idea to get the permission of the anxious person first; keep in mind that people who have a certain view of their anxiety often still feel compelled to “surrender” to their anxiety thoughts, for example. Example: An infected person may worry (19459003) that going to the doctor every week for several tests is not logically necessary but he cannot help himself.
If the person close to you lacks a vision or vision towards the anxiety that he suffers from or has a problem with compulsory management it is best to encourage him to see a clinical psychiatrist who specializes in treating anxiety.